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A man
takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on
the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the
green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when
he hears, Ribbit 9 Iron." The man looks around and
doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9
Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the
frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom!
He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says
to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You
must be a lucky frog, eh? The frog
replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."
The
man decides to take the frog with
him to the next hole. "What
do you think frog?" the man
asks. "Ribbit 3 wood." The
guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom!
Hole in one. The man is
befuddled and doesn't know what
to say. By the end of the
day, the man golfed the best
game of golf in his life and asks
the frog, "OK where to next?" The
frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas."
They go to Las Vegas and the guy
says, "OK frog, now what?"
The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon approaching
the roulette table, The man asks,
"What do you think I should bet?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000,
black 6." Now,
this is a million-to-one shot to
win, but after the golf game the
man figures what the heck.
Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back
across the table. The man
takes his winnings and buys the
best room in the hotel. He sits the
frog down and says, "Frog, I
don't know how to repay you. You've
won me all this money and I am
forever grateful." The
frog replies, "Ribbit Kiss Me."
He figures why not, since
after all the frog did for him, he
deserves it. With a kiss, the frog
turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old
girl. "And that, your honor,
is how the girl ended up in
my room.
So help me God!
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One day a
man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten
years sees an unusual speck on the horizon.
"It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself.
As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the
possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous
Blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned guy and says to him, "Tell me,
how Long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replies the stunned man. With that she
reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her Left sleeve
and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says,
"Man, oh man! Is that good!!" "And how long has
it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" she asks him.
Trembling th! e castaway replies, "Ten years. She reaches
over, unzips her right sleeve pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He
opens the flask takes a long swig and says, "WOW, that's
absolutely fantastic!"
At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that
runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man
seductively and asks, "And how long has it been since
you've played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs,
"Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs
in there too?"
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There are
two guys out on the course that come up on a couple of ladies
playing slow. One of the guys walks up towards the ladies to
ask if they can play through. About halfway there he turns
around and comes back and says to his friend, "I can't go
up there and talk to them, that is my wife and my
mistress." So his friend replies, "I'll go up and
ask them." When he is halfway there he turns around and
comes back and states to his friend. "Small world".
There
were two golfers
were sitting at the 19th hole discussing their games this year
when one says to the other, " My game is so bad this year I had to have my ball
retriever re-gripped !"
Two
long time golfers were standing over looking the river.
One golfer looked to the other and said,
"Look at those idiots fishing' in the rain."
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