An 80-year old
Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is
amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, "How do
you stay in such great physical condition?"
I'm Italian and I am a golfer," says the old guy," and
that's why I'm in such good shape." I'm up well before
daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways."
"Have a glass of vino, and all is well."
"Well," says the doctor, "I'm sure that helps,
but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he
died?"
"Who said my Dad's dead?"
The doctor is amazed. "You mean you're 80 years old and
your Dad's still alive. How old is he?"
He's 100 years old," says the old Italian golfer. "In
fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the
topless beach for a walk, that's why he's still alive ... he's
Italian and he's a golfer too."
Well," the doctor says, "that's great, but I'm sure
there's more to it than that. How about your Dad's Dad? How old
was he when he died?"
"Who said my grandpa's dead?"
Stunned, the doctor asks, "You mean you're 80 years old and
your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is
he?"
"He's 118 years old," says the old Italian golfer. the
doctor is getting frustrated at this point, "So, I guess he
went golfing with you this morning too?"
"No. Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting
married today."
At this point the doctor is close to losing it "Getting
married!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get
married?"
"Who said he wanted to?"
A
golfer is playing a round of golf with his buddies. On the sixth
hole, a hole over water, he proceeds to flub nine balls into the
water. Frustrated over his poor golfing ability, and about ready
to hit somebody, he heaves his golf clubs into the water, and
begins to walk off the course. Then all of a sudden he turns
around and jumps back in the lake, his buddies apparently
thinking he is going to retrieve his clubs. When he comes out of
the water he doesnīt have his clubs and begins to walk off the
course. Then one of his buddies asks, why did you jump into the
lake and he said I left my car keys in the bag.
An
elderly gentleman lived on the 3rd floor of a retirement condo
on a golf course and used the cart path to walk to the corner
grocery. One day, as he was returning from the store, he looked
down and saw that beside a tree next to the path were dozens of
brand new golf balls. He couldnīt believe his good fortune! The
man set the paper bag of groceries on the ground, emptied it out
and filled it to the brim with the golf balls. Alas, the water
sprinklers had just been running and the bottom of the paper bag
got wet. As he lifted the overflowing bag, the bottom fell out
and balls went everywhere. Having no choice, he stuffed all his
pockets with the balls. The front pockets were so full that he
looked like a squirrel with his mouth full of acorns as he
walked back to his condo. When the elevator door at his condo
opened, an elderly lady steps out and looked at his distended
pockets with a pronounced look of wonder on her face. Quickly,
he says, "Golf balls." She responds, "Oh my, is
that anything like tennis elbow?"
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